-lSouth Park Campl- Chapter 6

[Rootbeersama]

Chapter Six
00Stupid

img coming soon

As the door to their Lounge burst open, the councler's swerved their attention from their tasks at hand to the very urgent looking chick who had stormed in. Mr. Tipper dropped his EXTREME bouncy ball, Miss Juana set aside her water bucket, Sir Crocodile stopped draining the water out of Miss Juana's plants, Miss Whelk dropped her sea charts and Mr. Fido even stopped sniffing people's butts!
"What is it- oh. Miss. Morpheus." Miss Juana and the rest of the councelers' expressions eased. "What's up now, dear." The councler looked far from calm.
"WHAT'S UP!?! WHAT'S UP!!?! I'LL INFORM YOU, AGENT!" Twirling about to face the others, the former spy eagirly spilled out her story. "I was just walking along a few minutes ago (at 18:33PM) and I happened upon a Secret Base about thrice oblique from the camp. This is a danger to our way of life, the children- AND OUR CARROTS!" However, her speech was not taken the way that she expected- all the camp counslers burst out laughing. Angered, Miss Morpheus demanded what they found so amusing.
"Oh, nothing dear." Miss Juana chocked, stiffling a laugh, "It's just that you're always making up stuff like this." She smiled kindly at the girl, "Like the time where you assumed that some poor bees were being used to spy upon everyone... We ran so fast thinking that there was really an assassin in the camp!"
"But I could have sworn--!" Miss Morpheus insisted, blushing slightly.
"Arroooorrrr! And the time wherrrrre someone had forrrrgotten to pack underrrwear and so they had it sent herrrre.... And you blew up the box thinking it was a narrrrcotic. Ewwrrrr... Poorrr Jerrrrry had to walk around with holes in his underwear for such a long time..."
"Now that was a mistake on my part but it's not like-" Miss Morpheus tried to argue.
"And the time that she believed that Crocodile was some kind of mastermind who pretty much made a whole country turn on itself and almost destroy itself, yes?" Miss Whelk added in amusement, missing Crocodile's eyes darting around the room suspiciously. Miss Morpheus could do nothing but hang her head in defeat.
"But I was almost positive my sources said..." Mr. Tipper shook her off with a flick of his hands.
"Just go get your EXTREME leson plans done, you have to start in 25 minutes." Miss Morpheus looked up and gave the group a smile.
"Yes Sir!" She swirled out of the door and shut it all in one motion, then gave a stifled laugh.
"Oh, I'll get my lesson plans ready all right..."

"Okay, okay, okay! Check this out!!" Zakuro insisted grabbing a straw which had been packaged in paper. Without hesitation she ripped off the other side and stuck a finger in her mouth to test the air. After a second of analysis she blew in the ripped off side and the paper shot off twirling about 3 times. Giving a smug look, the girl smiled. "Oh. Yeah. What do you think of- YOU GUYS! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING!!" Kiichigo barely turned around, mesmorized by the sight in which all the crowd were enjoying.
"Uh huh, yeah. That's cool Zak."
"What are you guys watching any- HOMYGOD!" Zakuro mused, seeing for the first time Bebe and Mishiga's food fight. "WHY DIDN'T YOU PEOPLE TELL ME ABOUT THIS!?!!" As Mishiga smooshed a whole plate of spaggheti on her rival's face, Shiori gave a grimmace.
"We shouted 'FOOD FIGHT' about 12 times but you never even looked up once."
"Mrphmi mrph mrff." Kenny added on causing Zak to look at him weird.
"Nuh uh."
"Good Evening Agents!" Miss Morpheus called out, demanding the attention of everyone- even Bebe who was smacking Mishiga repeatidly with a piece of broccoli. Seeing the scene before her, the former spy shook her head. "What the hell." She pushed Mishiga and Bebe to the doors angrilly.
"You two, shower. The rest of you- just sit here starring awkwardly at each other until they're done."

After Mishiga and Bebe finished showering, although it looked like they may have took a few jabs at each other before wandering back, they met back up with the group at the foot of the Mountain that Camp TotallyOwnage lay upon. The sun was setting about now and so the snow changed into a cotton candy-like color and everyone seemed to have used a little too much blush. Miss Morpheus shaded her eyes from the sun, being used to night time, and tossed a reckless grin at the campers.
"Hello Agents, tonight w're going to be doing a night hike."
"Fuck no." Cartman angrilly shouted out from the crowd. "I am not going to be hiking up that!" He pointed indignantly up at the mountain path. Stan shook his head and sighed.
"God. You are such a fat ass." Miss Morpheus didn't see this as an obstacle however.
"Agent Cartman I dissary? You don't have too good of a rank so far. However, for this mission I do need everyone's cooperation so..." She whipped out a piece of KFC chicken, tied it onto a string and then tied the string onto a branch, then hovered it above the boy's head.
"YOU WANT THE OILY FATTY GOODNESS DON'T YOU!!" Cartman shot her a look.
"Ay! I'm not that retarted!" However, when she moved the chicken back even a centimeter, the boy followed it with hungry eyes.
"Oh!" The teacher exclaimed, suddenly remembering something. She dug into her pockets and snatched out some night-vision goggles, throwing one to each of the kids.
"You may need these lator on, agents." Zak handled her confused, clicking the button on the side which could change the veiws.
"Does this thing have Panty-Vision on it?"
"PANTY VISION!?!" Shiori exclaimed with Kenny echoing it in his own language. The two, and pretty much all the boys besides Pip, eagarly strapped on their goggles and started checking them for Panty vision. Miss Morpheus slapped her forehead in frustration.
"Come on.. Let's just. Go..."

"HEY SHIORI!" Kiichigo chirped, the group had been walking for a while and were thuroughly bored out of their minds. "GIVE IT TO ME ONE TIME!" Shiori immedietly broke into a grin and clapped her tighs in the same rythem that her friend did.
"Two Times!" The two continued, but a very disgruntled Zakuro slammed her hands to both sides of her head.
"AWRRRRGAAA! I CAN'T TAKE IT! SEIZURE! SEIZURE! ARRRRRRAAAAAAAA!" She then stumbled to the side of the path, tripped and tumbled all the way down giving some very unplesant sound effects along the way. The group just watched the snow covered-bushes in a stupour as the heard the words.
"OH! Hello there little Bear. Aw, you want to help me up. No. That's MY HAND! You can't have it. NIYAAAAAAAA!"
"I hate that girl." Miss Morpheus sighed before charging into the forest and coming face to face with a weird scene. Zak and a person in a black ninja suit were fighting over a decapitated arm. Seeing Miss Morpheus, the man in black immediatly turned tail and took off through the trees. The teacher stood for a while and then turned to Zak.
"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT!?!"
"That was a bear."
"THE HELL THAT'S A BEAR!" Miss Morpheus looked at the girl like she was insane. "Where'd you get that arm anyway?" Zak grinned and stuck the hand back in her jacket.
"I found it on the planebus when we came over here. Shiori has a leg if you wanna see that."
"Oh forget it." Miss Morpheus grunted turning back to the rest of the group- just in time for 6 men-in-black to leap down from the trees and surround the group. Surprised, the children rushed closer to each other for protection except Miss Juana who whipped out two pistols and Cartman who immedietly leapt for the chicken-on-a-stick as soon as she dropped it. However, this didn't phaze the men one bit. Their obvious leader, a man in a very elaborate black outfit, immedietly broke from the circle that his soldiers had formed and nudged down Miss Morpheus' guns.
"You are not need thems."
"'Not need thems'?" Kiichigo marveled as Miss Juana hesitantly dropped her guns and Mishiga chimed in, "Wouldn't it be 'You don't need that' or 'That is not needed'?" The leader didn't seem to appreciate this advice and with flashing eyes he burst out at the two, causing them to cower back further.
"No likie talk smart girl from!" the commander grunted to his men and then turned back to the group. "Takes girls we are do, Master see want." After hearing the last word, everyone was snatched from behind by the men-in-black and the girls- chloroformed. Though they struggled, the soldiers were prepared for any defence the kids could think of. They wore goggles to block eye-pokes, gloves made of onion-spinach which pretty much defeated the purpose of licking or biting them, ear plugs to prevent wet willies and were too scary to scrath period. Plus, I think they were on Morphene so they wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.
"WENDY!" Stan called out as she went down.
"HIEDI!" Token moaned.
"GAH! GIRL WITH THE RED HAIR!!!" Tweek screamed as she was chloroformed. Angrilly the girl looked up.
"Red."
"YEAH! RED! OHJESUS!!"
"BEBE!!!"
"MISHIGA!!!"
"SASQUATCH!!!" The surrounding woods grew quiet for a while as everyone stared at a meremaid, vampire and Sasquatch. After a while the Vampire sniffed his nose popously.
"Fine then. Be that way. Come on Binki, Tips let's go somewhere that is accepting and tolerant of everyone- Panda Express." It took a while, but the fireworks continued soon enough.
"KIICHIGO!!"
"wafflez!"
"SHIOOOORRRRIII!"
After the girls were unconscious, the instructor looked over the troupes.
"Girls now all night night?"
"SIR YES!!" The troupes shouted back after checking the girls.
"OI! WAIT A SECOND! I'm not none night-night!!!" Zak exclaimed.
"That you cuz girl ain't." The leader explained, and then doubtfully checked with her captor. "Right?" The man shrugged with a hopeless look on his face.
"Unno."
"All my womenly pride has just been shattered on this night." Zak moaned slumping over. Mr. Instructor ignored this and turned back to the group who was waiting for his orders.
"We done." And with that the group was conked out Spok style, while the girls were dragged away unconscieous.

"Ugn... My head." Stan groaned sitting up and rubbing his head. For a second he was blurry and this wasn't the best of places of that. It's never good to have no idea where you are and be in the snow surrounded by the seemingly-lifeless bodies of people you know pretty well. However, the realization of what had happened sunk into him and he practically leapt 5 feet off the ground.
"Wendy!" However, there was practically no life about the forest besides his own- and Kyle's coming around. Seeing this, Stan ran over and joined his friend.
"Kyle! Get up!"
"No.. No Eye Piercings...."
"Kyle!!"
'Whuwhuwhu!?" Kyle asked, leaning upright from his nap.
"KYLE THOSE MEN IN BLACK STOLE THE GIRLS FROM US!! WENDY'S IN DANGER!!!" Stan burst shaking the boy, Kyle made a face.
"Dude. That sucks."
"I KNOW!" Cartman angrily said throwing himself down by the two, who looked at him in astonishment.
"CARTMAN!?!!?"
"What!?!" The boy just kicked the snow.
"Goddamn soldiers. Stole my KFC."
"What do you mean? You ate that yourself fat ass."
"DID NOT." Cartman exclaimed, wiping chicken skin from his jacket. "Damn Jew."
"Don't you belittle my people Cartman!!" Kyle shouted back.
"YOU GUYS STOP IT! THIS ISN'T HELPING!!!" Stan raged at the two, causing them quiet for a bit.
"You're right." Kyle sighed looking down at the ground in shame. Cartman, on the other hand, used this oppertunity to spit his tounge out at Kyle. Stan shook his head.
"If only we knew who those guys were."
"They're called the Illiterate Ninjas- or as they call themselves- 'the Ungrammerful Ninjas'." Everyone's head swiveled around to find that Miss Morpheus had awaken.
"Miss Morpheus! They didn't take you?" Butters asked, confused.
"No, Agent." Miss Morpheus shook her head, "Because I have... oh, certain ties with thier leader."
"Mrfmrfmimrf!"
"No... Not the deush with the rpg. Their leader-leader. The big cheese. The one who hires them." Miss Morpheus explained causing Stan to look at her suspiciously.
"What kind of ties?"
"He's my son."

Mishiga was awoken by a large clinking of metal, looking up she found Shiori looking rather stunned sitting on the ground infront of some bars.
"Shiori. What the hell are you doing?" The girl asked irritably, "Some of us have to slee- OHMGODBARSWUT." Mishiga ran up to the bars and pounded on them angrily. Seeing that they wouldn't budge, she slumped down angrily.
"I hate this camp." Shiori shrugged her friend's logic off and started running into the barred wall again- her results not much better. However, she did earn herself a laugh from the shadows.
"Ah, come now. Stop hurting yourself. The bars are made of the best material money can buy." A bit set off, the girls moved to the middle of the room/cage.
"SHOW YOURSELF, PERSON!" Mishiga demanded.
"Yeah! WE HAVE... stuff... AND WE AREN'T AFRAID TO USE IT!!!" Kiichigo shouted earning her a look from Mishiga.
"Oh. Very smooth." However, this seemed to fase the shadow-watcher for his next responce was hesitant.
"... ... ...What kind of stuff...?" The girls shrugged in unison and looked over them.
"I have a book."
"Few pens... I think an eraser."
"Hair clips."
"... I got a Amputated leg?"

"You have a son?!" Kyle asked, astonished. "But doesn't Miss mean 'unmarried'?"
"It's an alias." Miss Morpheus smiled, "I'd never let anyone know my real name."
"Aaron?" Zak asked, looking up from a baby name book. Miss. Morpheus shook her head like the girl was crazy.
"No."
"Andrea?"
"Hell no."
"Areana?"
"NO."
"Made in England?"
"Give me that." The former spy yanked the book out of Zak's hands.
"Why'd he only take the girls?" Butters asked- but it was obviously a good point because everyone's attention shifted to the teacher. Miss Morpheus hung her head.
"Because he's looking for a girlfriend."
"Haha. That loser." Clyde laughed.
"Mrfmrfmrphimrf." Kenny pointed out, causing Clyde to lose all the pride and confidence that he used to have.
"Well, what are we just standing here for?! I'm not letting some 'lord of the ungrammarful ninjas' steal Wendy from me!!!" Stan stomped his foot on the ground angrily.
"Illiterate Ninjas." Kyle corrected.
"Whatever."
"He's right. We have to infultrate my son's base right away. He isn't the waiting type."

"A what?" The shadow voice seemed confused.
"Amputated leg."
"That's not nice. You've got to get along with the others in there or else you'll-"
"No, it's from the plane ride over here from California."
"Oh is that so? Is California a nice place? I've always heard it was a- ARG! No. NO SMALL TALK."
"Then show yourself. Before I put some perfume hurting on you." The shadow voiced sighed heavily.
"If that's what you wish..." And from the shadows emmerged a young boy, around the age of 10, wearing a shadow-like mask of an oni.
"Eston the second at your service milday."

"So this is a base, huh?" Kyle mused as everyone stood from afar marveling the well guarded tree fort. "That is one weird kid."
"How are we going to get in there?" Stan asked the teacher because as far as he could see- there was no way in hell someone could find a way to get inside.
"We go online. Order Bowling Balls- AND KNOCK PEOPLE OVER WITH THEM." Zak suggested.
"Yeah. That might work if we had 6 years and a WHOLE DIFFERENT PLAN THAT WILL ACCTUALY WORK." Cartman pointed out. Zak tried again.
"Hokay! We could get mustard and Ketchup and squeeze it in peoples eyes and then-"
"Oh! I have a brillant idea!!" Miss Morpheus exclaimed, "how about we go get the magical dragon who lives in the mountains and have him make Eston let him go!!" She pushed Zak into the bushes. "We need you to go get the magical dragon though- okay?"
"HOKAY!" Zak exclaimed running off into the wilderness. After the group were sure she had left, Miss Morpheus laid out the plan for them.

"Hey, uh, Eston the two..." Shiori started, sitting up from her latest pound on the barred door. "Since you're at our service you think you could open the door?"
"Oh, but I wish." Eston meerly grinned at the group.
"So you will?" Shiori asked, excited beyond all belief.
"No. I will not." He gave a mock exasperated sigh. "You see, I cnnot open this door until one of you pleadges to be my love, forever."
"WHAAAT!!??!?"
"Come now, it must be getting quite dank in there, hmm?"
Mishiga shook her head.
"I forget WHERE on the brochure for this camp it said that we were going to have to deal with Ultra-Geeks in Demon Masks who stick us in a cell until one of us gets engaged to him." Overhearing this, Eston pointed to a place on the front of the brochure.
"Ah, yes. I am quite sorry you missed it. It's right there." Mishiga snatched the brochure and looked at it. Kiichigo shook her head as she read over her shoulder.
"Well darn. "WARNING: Children may be abducted by Ultra-Geeks in Demon Masks who stick them in a cell until one of them gets engaged to him, cookie selling monsters, or Bambi's Dead Mom." The youth turned his back to the celled up girls.
"I see that your will in strong today, but tomarrow it may not be so... We shall see." After the door closed behind Eston, the girls groaned.
"Well, this sucks. What are we going to do." Wendy sighed, looking to the others for advice.
"I say we give him Mishiga. He seems like her type." Bebe scoffed.
"Hey, hey. No one's sacrificing anyone." Wendy tried to calmed the girls down.
"That's good. Because I bet Bebe is just dying to run off with this guy. Seems like he's her type." Mishiga stuck her tongue out at Bebe. However, before anyone could start fighting, the door slammed open and the boys spilled out into the room. Elated, the girls ran to the bars.
"Stan! How'd you get here!?" Wendy asked, amazed.
"The power of love." Stan responded, with Cartman angrily immitating the two.
"Oh, I thought we went through a Montauge-"
"SHUT UP BUTTERS." Stan shouted back at the boy. "Now.. How do we get you out of here...?"
"Oh, that, my friend, is not an easy task. For you see, you need a key to open the door and the key you need I have." The group swung around to come face to face with Eston and his Oni mask.
"And who the hell are you?" Stan asked. Eston just grinned,
"I am Eston the second, how nice of you to ask. It is usually considered more polite if you give your own name first, however." Stan ignored this and looked Eston square in the eyes.
"Eston. Give me the key."
"I'm afraid I cannot do that."
"Okay. Then I'll have to take it from you!" Stan lunged out and swung at the Oni-Geek- but as on target as his punch was- he missed for the boy had changed to shadow in that area. Stan leaped back in alarm, and Eston's face came back together, and he looked a bit sad.
"Oooh. I rather do dislike thieves..." Taking his arm, he transferred it in the shadow until it appeared right behind Stan and smashed him into the wall.
"STAN!!!" Wendy shouted out in anguish, and the child shook his head. " Shame, shame. I thought we were going to get along well..."
"Mrfffmrffmrf!!!"
"Yeah!" Kyle agreed with Kenny, the two leapt out at Eston, but the boy simply changed to shadow again causing the friends to collide and hit each other.
"KYLE!!!" Mishiga and Bebe shrieked.
"Kenny!" Shiori exclaimed, "Jaslkjdakjdakjds!!!"
As he reappeared a bit to the left, the boy shook his head and motioned for other challengers. Yet, none prevailed, and soon all that stood was Cartman. Eston looked over and him and cocked his head- but Cartman had already seen enough.
"Ahaha- hell no." The Oni-Masked boy grinned and started piling people up in the barred room.

"Kenny... Kenny!" Kenny was awakened by Shiori looking over him with worried eyes. However, upon seeing him awaken made her eyes shine bright once more.
"Mrff mri Mrooo mri?" Kenny inquired, thinking of no other explination of why he was where he was. Shiori blushed and shook her head frantically.
"WHAT!??! NO!!! We're stuck in a cell because of Mr. Oni-man." She sighed happily, "Thank god. I thought..." Close by, Mishiga and Bebe were fighting over how to take care of an unconscieous Kyle, innocent things like- whose jacket keeps him warm, who gets to check his pulse, who gets to give him the kiss of life if he needs it. ... Mostly the last one. However, everyone looked up when Eston entered the room again, seeing the group he smiled.
"So, what do you say about my proposition today...?"
"Eston, honey. What makes you think that this idea will work?" Miss Morpheus asked patiently.
"Because, Mother, I know a lot about the human psycholo-"
"Your MySpace friends told you about this, huh?"
"Did not."
"Did too. I am grounding you off that site, young man."
"But Moooothhhhhheeeeerrrrr!"
"No buts... Now let us out."
"Mother. How is it with you? In one ear out the other? Until one of these lovely ladies promises to keep my love forever and always I cannot." Eston shook his head and Miss Morpheus looked nervously at the bunch.
"He's not a bad kid... Usually."
"ESTON!!!!" The boy jumped six feet in the air at this.
"Oh SHIT." Angry footsteps were heard pounding through the hall and then the door was practically thrust of it's hinges revealing a very ticked off Crocodile with Zak hanging on his back.
"ESTON! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO NOT LOCK PEOPLE UP UNTIL THEY SWEAR THEY'RE UNDYING LOVE TO YOU!!!" The boy flinched back.
"Ah, I am sorry Father. I just couldn't--"
"What the hell are you wearing? Is that your Halloween costume?"
"Um... Yes. Perhaps."
"Oh. And I suppose that those kids are knocked out in there because of some 'Perhaps' as well."
"Um, yes. That would help alot."
"AND YOU LOCKED YOUR MOM UP AS WELL!?! That's it. Eston. Come with me and we're disgussing your punishment."
"Yes Father..."
"And stop it with that Rich-boy accent. You know you have a Spanish one."
"Bull-sheet!"
"Someone's gonna get thems a time out~!" Zak chimed from on Crocodile's back. The Artillary teacher shook his head.
"Oh hell no. We don't believe in time out. We do a little thing called Mine dodging."

[kennyshouse.proboards76.com/index.cgi?board=fanfic&action=display&thread=1174444512] Chapter One
[kennyshouse.proboards76.com/index.cgi?board=fanfic&action=display&thread=1174444968]Chapter Two
[kennyshouse.proboards76.com/index.cgi?board=fanfic&action=display&thread=1174445203] Chapter Three
[kennyshouse.proboards76.com/index.cgi?board=fanfic&action=display&thread=1174444040] Chapter Four
[kennyshouse.proboards76.com/index.cgi?board=fanfic&action=display&thread=1174773267] Chapter Five

[Shiori McCormick]

GO ZAKURO!!!! That was frigging sweet!

[Yum wafflez]

sweet!

[Yum wafflez]

i love how someone radomly shouts out my name