Post by Rootbeersama on Mar 20, 2007 21:27:20 GMT -5
Chapter Four
I Like Meeses
I Like Meeses
"..And then there were like thirty of them and I was all kicking their butts and stuff and--"
"That's not how it happened fatass!" Kyle angrily interrupted Cartman's tale. The group was lounging around in the cozy Cafe' Teria and having dinner along with Cabin Three, telling stories about their first day of Camp. Once again- Kyle and Cartman were at each other's throats.
"Shut up, stupid Jew! This is MY story!"
"Well you're telling it wrong!"
"Kyle, unlike you, everything I say is entirely truthful." Seeing everyone's skeptical looks, Cartman burst. "WHAT!?!"
"What about the time you told me that the world had been destroyed by a comet!?" Butters complained.
"Or the time where you told on me in the Blaintology cult?" Kyle added angrily.
"GAH! And the time when you wanted to kick me out to make room for Bebe!!" Tweek fitfully blurted, causing the boys to stare at him blankly.
"Tweek... That has nothing to do with Cartman lying..." Token told his friend, causing the spastic blonde haired youth to pout.
"Yeah- but he was being an ass none-the-less."
"But anyway- your story is just right out Cartman!" Kyle brought the conversation back to its original topic.
"No it isn't, you guys." Cartman whined, causing Stan to assume his usual place on Kyle's defense.
"There were no 'Jelly-bean-laser-shooting-Ninja-Lions' that came to eat us in the cave."
"Mrf-mi-mrph hmph hrmmrf!" Kenny added and Cartman threw up his arms.
"You guys are so LAME!"
"Anyway, what classes did you guys have, Craig?" Stan asked out of boredom, poking his food with his fork. Craig looked up from flipping off Cartman and shrugged.
"Some lame old Zoology and Geology classes." He then went back to absent-mindedly flipping people off while Token elongated their day for the group.
"We had to spend Zoology waiting around the Nurse' Cabin though because CLYDE thought it would be funny to see what would happen if he gave the teacher Peanut Butter... The teacher couldn't even swallow it and spent almost 30 minutes making annoying noises just trying to lick it up!" This caused Clyde to snicker over his food and mumbled.
"It was so awesome.", which made Stan and the group upset.
"Dude, Clyde! You're a minor background character!" A frustrated Stan whined.
"Yeah! You can't just go off and mortally wound counselors who think that they're dogs!" Kyle added, pushing his food tray aside.
"Seriously! You have to be a main character or villain to kill or seriously injure people." Cartman growled, Kenny even adding in a quick, "Mrph." Clyde just stabbed his dinner, muttering darkly.
"Wait a tad bit," Pip commented figuring something out, "I could have sworn Craig and Tweek tossed Kenneth into a bin of nails once... And there was also the time in which--"
"Shut up Frenchie!" Cartman hissed angrily, causing Pip to lunge forward and Clyde and Craig to restrain the child.
"I'M NOT BLOODY FRENCH! I'M BRITTISH!!!"
On the other side of the Cafe' the rest of the Cabins were grouped up- but were in a very uncanny silence.
"Soo...." Shiori tried to start a safe conversation, and Kiichigo urged this on.
"Soo....."
"Soooo...?" Wendy asked, trying to keep the conversation from dying. However, this attempt was quickly spoiled by Mishiga who was squishing a grape, her face as sharp and looming as one would expect death to look.
"This grape here- this is Bebe." She quickly smooshed the grape between her fingers and juice squirted everywhere- Zakuro leapt up holding her eye angrily.
"Aw DARN IT! Mishiga! You just got Bebe in my eyes!" Mishiga nonchalantly threw away the squished grape and looked at Bebe who sat across her, her eyes aflame in anger. In response, Bebe silently scribbled Mishiga's name on a napkin and ripped it in half angrily, causing Zakuro and Shiori to groan.
"Aw! She already did this one!"
"Yeah, like six times!" However, Bebe didn't stop there, she went and ripped all around the edges as if she had something planned. When she was done, the girl opened up the napkin to reveal a snowflake which contained a picture that looked very much like Bebe beating up Mishiga.
"OOOOOH." Heidi and Bertha echoed together.
"Ah! Mishiga could beat that!" Shiori shrugged their attitude off.
"Yeah! Mishiga has SOOPA POWAS!" Zakuro added, and the two went on back to rooting Mishiga on. Kiichigo and Wendy just watched the group from afar with the old 'Ohgawdthesepeoplearesostupid' looks on their faces.
"I don't understand... Bebe is usually very kind and open to people." Wendy commented to Kiichigo, and the girl just shook her head numbly.
"Yeah, I know what you mean... Mishiga is usually the same way...."
"Well at least you seem sane." Wendy grinned- but she had spoken too soon for the forces of Kiichigo's British magnet sent her once again plummeting towards the unexpecting Pip.
"I give up." Wendy shrugged and joined the rest of the girls in egging Mishiga and Bebe on.
Picking herself up from the ground, Kiichigo readily apologized to the stricken Pip who was sprawled out about the ground.
"Oh! I'm so sorry! So sorry! I really didn't mean to--" Pip shrugged the whole episode off and simply picked himself off and straightened his bow-tie.
"Ah, it is fine."
"But I just ran into you and-"
"Ah, I have had worse- believe me."
"But-"
"Ahaha- it's that clumsy chick!" Cartman cracked up, pointing at Kiichigo, causing the poor girl to give a nervous laugh. However, Pip wouldn't have it.
"While we're all cheery and such, why don't we also give it up for Cartman's big arse!"
"Shut up Frenchie!" This time, however, Clyde and Craig weren't fast enough to restrain the walking time bomb and Pip immediately launched himself at Cartman, knocking the red jacketed dude off of his seat. Seeing as it was already too late, Clyde and Craig looked at each other, shrugged, and started fixatedly cheer on the fight, Token, Tweek, Stan and Kyle quickly joining. Kiichigo broke away from the group and was confronted by a very concerned Zakuro. Gravely, the girl asked for her friend's attention.
"Kiichigo."
"What? Zak?! What's wrong?!"
"Kiichigo, lookit." Zakuro whipped out a carrot and threw it on the floor. The carrot did not act like a regular carrot and split open, however. It decided it wanted to be different and it bounced up from the floor and back into Zakuro's hand, causing the girl's ominous face to immediately morph into one of unimaginable joy.
"LOOKIT! IT BOUNCED! WASN'T THAT SO AWESOME!"
"Hey Zak, I'm going to go-- what? Why did that bounce? Oh- um.. Anyway. I'm going to go back to the Cabin." Kiichigo's comment struck her friend as odd, and she tried fruitlessly to figure it out.
"Huh? Why? Kiichigo- BOUNCING FOOD. Think about it." She held out the carrot. "You KNOW you want to. It's your life's dream. To through bouncing food. You cannot hide it." Kiichigo's hand hovered over the carrot- until she snapped it back and bit her lip.
"I can't... Just... Can't."
"What?!!?! This is totally bad! We need a fireman or--!!!" Kiichigo shook her friend.
"Tonight is the double EXP night on 'The UBER World'!" the girl exclaimed, almost hyperventilating. Solemnly nodding, Zakuro saluted the girl.
"I... I understand Kiichigo. I shall cover for you with cleaning... Now go. Go and totally pwn some monsters." As soon as the girl left, Zakuro laughed evilly, holding up a bag of carrots.
"And now everyone shall come to fear you- PEAS!"
Suddenly remembering something, Pip looked up from his one sided fight with Cartman.
"Oh bloody- what is the day today?" Butters shrugged.
"I think it's Wednesday or something, why?" Pip's eyes grew huge and he leapt away from beating the hell out of Cartman, much to the child's relief, and grabbed Clyde.
"Come on! We have to go!"
"What? Why?" The boy asked, confused. However, seeing Zakuro running around with a bag of carrots changed all his skeptics. "Hell any reason's good enough for me- I'm leaving." The two scurried out of the Cafe', seemingly giving Cartman his attitude back.
"That Pip kid is really going to get it next time- I'm definitely not going easy on him again--!"
"Well that's good because he's coming back." Stan stated, and Cartman's eye's nearly popped out as he shrieked.
"OHMYDEARGODHAVEMERCY!"
"Oh dude, you totally fell for it!" Stan snickered at Cartman, the rest of the boys joining in on his fun. This only seemed to provoke the boy.
"Oh very funny Stan! Well for your information I'm not scared of a French Kid!!" However, this was heard by Pip, who had once again entered the Cafe'. Obviously restraining himself, Pip walked over, took his tea and managed an 'I'll get you later.' at Cartman through gritted teeth. After he was safely out of sight, Cartman shook his fist.
"YEAH! Uh, YOU BETTER RUN AWAY!"
Cabin four was awoken the next morning by an urgent rapping on their door. As if it were habit, Cartman merely turned over in his sleep and mumbled,
"Mom! Mom get the door!" Seeing as no one else was going to do the job Butters got up and answered the door, pulling it to reveal-
"Hey fellas- it's those girls again." Pulling on his jacket, Stan joined Butters at the door.
"You guys again? What do you want? I seriously have no idea why we keep hanging about with you." Mishiga pulled out the Cabin's schedule.
"Well, for one, we keep getting the same classes." Kyle joined Stan at the door, trying to pull his hunting hat over his head.
"We have the same class again today, then?" Mishiga nodded and held out the schedule,
"That's right- we have bombs and heavy artillery with you AND Cabin Three... However, there is something very serious that poses as a threat to us being on time for class." Confused, Kenny joined the group at the door, sliding his parka on.
"Mrph?"
"Kiichigo won't get off of her computer." Stan just looked at her like she was crazy.
"So? Just turn it off- she'll go off and you guys can go scamper off to the class." Mishiga shook her head, while Shiori and Kenny once again whipped out their PsPs and started playing on borrowed battery-time.
"It's not like that... It's as if her soul is trapped in the game or something... Or as if she has a coma... Or as if she drank 12 month old milk and tried to wash it out with soap."
"K... So what do you need us for?" Stan asked, a little irritated.
"Shiori tells us that you guys are pretty awesome video game players- and I have a feeling that we're going to need people like you when we're heading into the game." Mishiga explained, and Zakuro softly coughed in a speedy voice,
"COUGH! PlusshewantstoseeKyle- COUGH." To which Mishiga smacked her in the head.
"Look. We're not interested. Screw you. Go away. We want to sleep." Cartman frustrated instructed the girl. However, Mishiga wasn't taking 'no' for an answer.
"Do you know what happens in classes where even one person is absent?" The girl asked in a chilly voice. To which Stan merely shrugged.
"Don't care."
"Usually, they're break open the 'Break in case of late children' glass and out will pour thousands of--"
"Rabid lemmings with psychic powers on us. Those things have such bad bites!"
"No. Shiori. Those aren't lemmings either- those are leeches."
"LEECHES!?!" Stan exclaimed, his eyes growing huge, "THEY THROW LEECHES ON YOU!?!"
"Yep- but we're talking about bombs and artillery class- what do you think they do in there?" Kyle and Stan immediately pushed the group out the door.
"Ay! What the hell!?" Cartman demanded at the boy's strange behavior.
"Hurry up Cartman! Do YOU want an exploding leech stuck up your ass?!" Stan yelled at him as the boy hopped along, trying to get his boots on. As the children took off to the front of camp, Pip slipped back into cabin three. He had hear everything, just coming out to go and get Cartman back- but right now there were more important measures- like not getting exploding leeches shoved up one's butt.
Walking the group into a cabin off from the main building, Mishiga revealed the room to the group.
"This is the room known as the computer room. No one's supposed to know about it- but it's the only cabin in the camp with internet access, 15 computers, electric sockets and technology." Mishiga showed the group over to Kiichigo who was over at a table, she seemed quite slumped and, although her eyes were covered by some kind of shade-like object that connected to the computer, blank. Oddly enough, her computer screen was blank as well- but you could hear noises coming from it, just as if she was playing a game. Mishiga patted her friend on the back.
"It's okay Kiichigo, we'll be there soon."
"Hey! Mishiga! Lookit!" Mishiga turned over to Zakuro and Shiori who were watching over Kenny's shoulder. "Kenny accessed the Internet history on this thing."
"Mrph!"
"Yeah! It has a lot of sites selling cocain...." Shiori commented. Seeing something, Zakuro poked the screen,
"Oo! Check this one! It sounds not-cocain-ish!!" However, letting Zakuro choose the website on name turned out to be very wrong. The only person who seemed to enjoy the site was Kenny. Shaking her head, Mishiga turned about and passed out an assortment of items to each member of the group, who had already gone and placed themselves at a computer.
"So this is how 'The UBER World' works. It's an MMoRPG, just like the more avidly known 'World of War craft'. However, these avatars are chosen FOR you based on the class you choose and some other things. This helmet must be worn at all times, it allows you to more easily see the game and move around as if you were in it. Otherwise, most of the steps are handled with the joystick (attacking and such) and the keyboard and mouse (mailing and all that stuff). Since I'm sure that none of you have been on this game before, we're probably going to have to make you new accounts... But we can't really have newbs going in to rescue Kiichigo so..."
"I can hack them up to the right levels!" Zakuro exclaimed, eagerly waving her hand at Mishiga, who looked anything but happy.
"I suppose we have no other choice.... It hurts me to say this but... Hack away Zak."
"WHOOT!" The girl happily set to work, humming a cheery song and typing in a ton of lines of code into her computer. Mishiga once again turned to the group, her computer set and ready.
"Okay everyone- LOG IN."
"Wait.... It's not accepting my password."
"Really? Try again."
"Yeah.. Yeah- see. 'Incorrect password or Username'."
"Huh.... I wonder why- try again."
"...Yeah. It's not working."
"Maybe you should turn CAPS LOC off?"
"Oh? It's on?"
"Yeah. It's sorta- there. Now try."
"Oh! Sweet! Yeah! That works!!"
Ick.
